This morning, I was preparing an email meant for our parishioners. The body of the email detailed all of the great opportunities available in our parish for spiritual enrichment during Lent. As I was writing the email, it occurred to me that, if enough people just read the bulletin on a regular basis, this email would probably not be necessary. So, I decided to help.
Here now is my handy guide to getting the most out of your church bulletin experience…
The church bulletin. Few parts of church culture are more underappreciated. Nowhere else can you get such a comprehensive listing of up-to-the-minute parish business. If the announcements at the end of Mass shared all that information, the pew-sitters would revolt. If the parish gossips were expected to give you the “skinny”, key details would no doubt be embellished and/or forgotten. Some people say social media and email is the answer, but no platform reaches everyone, and some folks either refuse to use it or even engage with the internet at all. Truly, the best way to get your parish news is in the pages of the trusty olde church bulletin. I assume at this point I have caused you to want one. I hope so. A church bulletin is an ecclesial wonderland just waiting to be explored.
Here now is a step-by-step guide for obtaining a church bulletin:
- Go to Mass. Your local Catholic Church features Masses weekly, even daily in a lot of places. Institutions like this will often post a variety of Mass times to accommodate even the most heroically busy among us.
- Stay at Mass until the closing hymn has concluded. I know what you’re thinking: “But, I don’t want to. What if the musicians do one more verse AFTER the priest has processed out? What then? Am I just expected to WAIT AROUND?!” Look, I know these musical hijackers are delaying your plans to change into sweatpants and watch Netflix, but remember your goal: get a bulletin. Stay focused.
- Slow your breakneck exit as you pass the usher. Congratulations! You’re almost there. Mass has ended. The final notes have been sung. You’re now ready to acquire a bulletin! How exciting!! While everything in you might be focused on racing past your fellow parishioners (those other people you put up with at church) to bust out the door and get to your car, this behavior will only decrease the likelihood that you’ll actually end up with a bulletin in your hand. Also, many ushers are older and may not be able to keep pace with you as you hurry by. A slower speed will help you not only obtain a bulletin but could potentially avoid any parish information dissemination-related usher whiplash injuries. It’s more common than you think.
- Take bulletin from the usher and say thank you. I have nothing to add here, really. Just be polite.
- Read the bulletin Once you have successfully secured a bulletin, it’s time to actually read it. I know this probably seems like an obvious step, but I assure you it isn’t. If your family is anything like mine, then your bulletin will get very little use as it is intended: the bearer of parish news. For us, at least, bulletins are all-too-often used as floor mats, scrap paper, random stack of paper increasers, telescopes, and swords. While the life span of a bulletin could certainly include these things, reading it first will help you maximize its full potential.
- Do Lent well. Ultimately, this step requires you to actually engage in the activities listed in the bulletin: Going to Mass. Praying the Stations of the Cross. Fasting. Abstaining. Giving.
The bulletin can only get you so far, though. The rest is up to you—and Jesus—but the choice of whether or not to do Lent well is totally up to you.
Lent starts tomorrow. Let’s do this!
-Shannon